It’s too damn hot here today for typing. Every time I touch the keys, the tips of my fingers sizzle. The screen is collapsing into a grotesque wax nightmare and the letters are peeling off it faster than I can type them.
So I’ll make like pants and keep this brief.
Today I’m going to treat you to an electric triptych. Try saying it fast over and over, faster and faster. Go on try it. Go oooooon. GO ON! Say it! Saaaaaay iiiiiit!!
SSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT !!!!!!
Apologies, I don’t know what came over me there. Like I say it’s a hot day.
All you had to do was say the words god dammit. Never mind.
Moving swiftly on.
First I give you a moody and peculiar affair by The Walker Brothers. Its slow droning viscous tones seem apt for such a stifling day which is likely what brought it to mind.
I’ll be honest, like most music of any merit I come across, I had this one spoon-fed to me by a film. Bronson in this case, where it was used to great effect. Beware celluloid glorifying things that don’t merit any glory. But we can’t get enough of that shit can we? Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, Reservoir Dogs, Clockwork Orange, The Krays, Spongebob Square Pants. Think of the children! It’s sickening.
We seem to marvel at the people who will dare to do what we will not to get their own way. We conveniently ignore the inherent self-serving evil and injustice because we need to believe in valid anti-heroes or that we could become a psychopathic anti-hero if we really wanted to. Like having a super power. The same way we fantasize about being Batman after seeing Dark Knight … No? Just me? Oh drat!
Yet if we were one of the poor unlucky saps on the receiving end of such random unpetionable violence, I don’t think we’d be cheering it along somehow.
Oh crap, this was mean to be brief! What am I like eh?
Anyway say what you want about people with diminished amygdalas, but they generate some films with great soundtracks is all I’ll say.
And on that note, I give you The Walker Brothers:
Now since you were so brave at the dentist’s earlier, I decided to give you, not one, but TWO FREE BONUS TRACKS in keeping with the electric theme.
First, here are the bizarre stylings of the enigmatic Captain Beefheart:
Take it from me, that’s one of his more linear songs, and one for which I have a spot that’s soft. I don’t even know where to begin with Don Van Vliet(Captain Beefheart’s real name). He was the best kind of loon. The kind that channels their powers into creating unusual things and sharing them with the rest of us.
Finally let’s travel back to a time when humanity hoped computers could save us from ourselves and bring an end to smelly old work. Who knew it was a clever ploy to make us all work even faster and harder instead. If you’d told someone back then that computers would become a trillion times more powerful and would be used to subdue the human race with gambling, porn, games, imaginary friends, and pictures of kittens in socks, they’d have said…
But this upbeat little number about the kind of love that dare not pixellate its name, came before computers rose up against us. Back when we dared to dream that man and machine could not only get along, but could even have a steamy affair.”That’s right baby, warm up your floppy drive cos daddy’s got something to put inside it.”
Errrrr, made myself slightly sick there.
This song was by Phil Oakey, hailing from the hi-tec hills of Sheffield; and Giorgio Moroder. I don’t have a clue where Mr. Moroder was from but I’m gonna go ahead and guess that he sported a permed mullet and rode around on a Vespa during the 80s. Probably red shoes as well. Never trust a man in red shoes. Sorry Giorgio. And clowns.
Voilà la flippin song: