Extremely Rude Adult Poem – You’ve Been Warned!

Just to re-iterate, this is for adults only, not children. Caveat emptor!

Daddies and Mummies for Dummies


There’s something that the grown ups do,

that children can’t believe is true,

but once they reach a certain age,

they change and think it’s all the rage.


It starts with fuzzy tummy swirls,

when boys are drawn towards the girls.

The boldest person then pretends,

that maybe they could both be friends.


So they go do some friendly thing,

perhaps a film or Burger King,

then once again the bravest tries,

to take the other by surprise.


They grab them firmly by the hips,

and smear their mouth around their lips,

and if they’re not too highly strung,

they might try fencing with their tongue.


But now they’ve had their first embrace,

they need to find a private place,

where they can hide and huddle close,

cos what comes next is really gross!


They kiss lots more, but now they touch

eachother’s bottoms far too much,

and not just bottoms, boobs as well,

and willies which begin to swell.


They swell and point up in the air,

so she whips off his underwear,

and he removes her knickers too,

but not her bra, it won’t undo.


When both are naked on the floor,

they kiss and touch eachother more.

The man then puts his pointy pole,

right up inside her toilet hole!


She squeals as though she had a fright,

perhaps he didn’t do it right?

He pulls it out and tries again,

she chimes each time just like Big Ben.


When they get bored they change their stance,

a bit like doing disco dance,

both back and forth and in and out,

while boobs and bottoms bounce about.


They kiss and touch their naughty parts,

if they’re not careful someone farts.

They carry on until he squirts,

and then they groan like something hurts.


But her groan sounded slightly fake,

the kind of sound that actors make.

She wants to kiss and cuddle more,

but he’s asleep or out the door.


She says the trouble is with men,

they take too long to go again.

Too many left her high and dry,

so now she’s learning DIY.


6 thoughts on “Extremely Rude Adult Poem – You’ve Been Warned!

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