The other day I took great delight in mocking President Obama for saying that something didn’t “jibe with” something else. Ha ha ha – the lanky plutocrat buffoon – it should be “jive with” – a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! OMG he said it twice!? AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA – too funny!!!!
Only several days later(like 5 minutes ago when I used this phrase in my last post!), a grotesque question mark started to coalesce above the incident and I was eventually, finally, moved to double-check my assumption. I don’t even know why I bother checking these things at this point, because it’s an absolute cast iron given that in any 50/50 scenario, I’m on the losing side.
So yeah, obviously Obama’s way was the right way to say it and I’ve been saying it like some kind of word-challenged Ugnaught all these years. Still, at least it’s not one of my favourite expressions that I use all of the …. …. …. oh no, wait, yes, yes it is, and yes I do.
Well played Obama – you lured me into the open, had me call all my friends, and made me pants myself like a prize tit. Seriously – I wouldn’t want to play that guy at Risk. Probably why they made him president. Seems obvious now.
The really annoying thing is that I know damn well(cue smug pedant – “Ahem! Dam well?”(cue 2nd slightly more smug pedant – “Ahem! Damned well?”)) that there’s been a whole catalogue of these incidents over the years, though it’s difficult to recall specifics now(“Ahem! Pacifics?”).
To my eternal chagrin(Ahem! Sad gran?), my standard of education, particularly in English, was sadly lacking and I’ve tried to improve it where I can, but it’s just knowing what to fix isn’t it?
Whatever – this kind of thing makes me recoil into my shell and wonder(Ahem! Wander?) what other horrors lurk out there. For all I know, half of my phrase arsenal(Ahem! Assnal?) is chronically flawed and I’m blissfully unaware of it. This bothers me in tents Lee.
Yes that was a joke.
I need to go and edit everything I ever wrote or said and wipe the memories of anyone who witnessed it.
I now like Barack Obama even less for humiliating me like this. I should’ve guessed he wouldn’t be in the wrong here – the NSA probably replaced his soul with a Speak and Spell*** after all of Bush’s word blunders.
It’s like the time when I started a job with IBM and the guy giving one of the induction talks asked if anyone knew where IBM got it’s initials from? Overcome with excitement at actually knowing the answer to something, I stupidly opened my ridiculous mouth and said “Yes! They took the name of computer from ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ – HAL – and replaced each letter with the next one along in the alphabet!”.
Oh how they mocked me.
As usual, I had got it the wrong way around. And in the worst possible place.
Something tells me I am never going to learn on this one.
*** if you’re under the age of 40, just picture an abacus but for spelling