Yoo LACKY peepul!!!

I know y’all can’t get enough of my song posts. The pained silence and zero likes doesn’t fool me one little bit. Nice try though. I do admire your subterfuge.

So I’ve decided to redouble my efforts from now on and post ten times as many songs. If I’m feeling saucy I may hire some street urchins to speed up the process and just post non-stop back-to-back songs all day every day. Because you love them so very much. Yes, they’re your favouritest thing in the whole universe. And you want to kiss them.

You will like my songs … IN THIS LIFE OR THE NEXT!!!!

Wait, what?

Well that got weird. I shan’t apologise.

Where was I?

Ah yes, more songs.

Yoo LACKY peepul!!!

OK so now we’ve got rid of the smelly lightweights, tonight’s bonus song is Pulp – Babies. It’s just a great song from the honeymoon period before Pulp became horribly popular and disappeared up their own arseholes. But when this came out they were this delicious new band. Looked cool, sounded cool and had something different to say.

The first time I heard this was in 1994 on the cassette player in my brother’s Vauxhall Nova. We were on the way to an al fresco evening game of 7-a-side football. I was in goal, filling in at the last minute for an unreliable friend of his. Now I’m no goalkeeper and I resented the imposition. As such, I spent most of the game ambling around foolishly far from the goal line; smoking inappropriate cigarettes and looking moody; intermittently being berated by a fellow team member because someone was approaching the empty goal.

Jesus – they must have HATED me.

From then on they only played me centre forward and I averaged 27 goals a game. The men wanted to be me. The women wanted my shoes, for some strange reason. A parade was thrown in my honour at the end of the season with all the teams I’d destroyed, stripped and chained, made to march single file in front of my chariot, while the furious crowd booed and threw poo at them. Exotic animals from the far off lands of the conquered teams lined the route. And all the time a humble slave stood behind me in the chariot, whispering in my ear “All glory is AWESOME!”.

OK so none of that really happened. I got carried away. It happens when I reminisce sometimes. Plus I’m a compulsive liar. Mind you if I was a compulsive liar I’d probably be lying about that now wouldn’t I? So, y’know … divide by zero … Daisy Daisy. KABOOM!

And then where would we be? Eh? EH?????

Exactly.

Good talk.

Oh and there was something about a song back there wasn’t there. Here you go then – don’t say I never give you anything:

 

 

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