A ridiculous poem to commemorate my ridiculous one day war with my brother-in-law’s new honeytrap garden parasol. First it suckers you into trying to put it up, then it instantly breaks in a horrible impossible-to-fix way, thus invalidating the guarantee, then it goes and tells on you to your unforgiving sister, leaving you looking a right fool.

Well I couldn’t let the cheeky little bastard get the better of me so I forced it home with me at gunpoint – I made it drive the car of course in case it tried anything funny – then I tied it down and I tortured it until it gave in and let me fix it.

So HA in your face you trick little Judas weasel umbrella!!!!


I say HA!

And HA again!

WHO’S THE FOOL NOW HUH?!?!?$&%$???

Still me?

Hmpf. OK then.

I need a lie down to rethink my ridiculous life.


Oh and here’s the poem:



Scuppered by a trick umbrella,

tell the trick umbrella seller,

tell her I’m a clumsy fella,

next time get a fortune teller.






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