Sorry Lady Gaga fans but you’re shit out of luck, cos I don’t even know who she is! Well yknow apart from the name.

And the fact she sings.

And that secret Lady Gaga shrine I have in the catacombs under my house. D’OH!

No, this is a piece from the score to Cave of Forgotten Dreams – a lovely little Werner Herzog documentary exploring the (then) newly discovered Chauvet-Pont-d’Arc Cave in Southern France.

Now this is from memory so excuse me if I’m wrong, but I believe they estimated those caves to be 32,000 years old, some of the earliest ever found. They reckoned that when the caves were in use, our ancestors roamed those French river valleys alongside Neanderthals. By the look of the drawings on the cave walls, there were some pretty exotic creatures roaming around with them too.

I love the drawings, especially the ochre hand prints on the wall. I feel like those people are saying hello from the past. Like the sincerest form of poetry. I can’t help wonder what the caves were used for. A cinema? A hunting academy? A place to take psychedelic mushrooms in hope of entering the underworld? A primitive man cave to escape their nagging wives? Nah, there was no fridge for the beer and no pool table. I guess we’ll never know.

The documentary blew me clean out of my socks when I first saw it so I foolishly took it into work and offered the DVD around my work colleagues. They looked at me like I was insane of course. Which I fairly was to be fair but not in their way dammit!

I’m intrigued by how people lived back then. I know it wasn’t some utopian love-in, and some of the progress we’ve made has no doubt solved problems that made life a misery back then, BUT(and it’s a big but(no offence Lady Gaga)), I can’t help thinking our minds and bodies were far better suited to that aboriginal way of life than they are to this sedentary high-speed information blizzard.

Just my apple crumble opinion.

Oh shut your face, you know I’m right. Yeah you at the back there with the maroon leg warmers. Who even wears leg warmers any more anyway? HA joke’s on you, you big dork!

Anyway now that I’ve destroyed any credibility I may have had at the beginning of the post, here’s your damn music …

Gaga – from the score to Cave of Forgotten Dreams, by Ernst Reijseger:



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