Sunshine Blogger Award

Thank you to Khadija from the Dishdessert blog who picked me for this Sunshine Blogger Award.

I’ve not had the honour before and honestly, I’m still trying to get my head around what it means. I’m pretty sure there’s no award ceremony so I guess it’s a nice gesture of recognition from a fellow blogger?

I don’t want to be a cynical old sodpot when someone’s intention is so kind and genuine so I will follow the instructions.

However I don’t feel like I know enough people(not well enough anyway) to nominate at the end so I think I’ll just answer the questions and skip that part.

I hope that’s OK and the blog high council won’t drag me out of my bed later on and beat me with oak truncheons for my blogsphemy.

Don’t touch my incredibly handsome face – it’s my livelihooooooooood!

OK so here’s the answers to those questions then:


1. What is your idea on true love?

After a loooooooooooooooooong contemplation, I no longer believe in true love.

I think what we call love is where lust and friendship meet. When it happens we tell ourselves they’re “the one” and we’re “in love”. But it wears off sooner or later and it’s strange how there always seems to be another “one” waiting not too far down the road.

So nah, I think true love is a human fantasy, along with Heaven, Hell, smurfs and good politicians.

Actually smurfs might be real, I haven’t decided yet. I think I saw some dancing like cossacks in a field one time. I was extremely drunk though and it was dark and I was asleep.


2. What is easier? To love or to be loved?

Damn I’ve painted myself into a corner here. OK so I will preface this answer by saying I do think it is possible to be loving toward someone even though I don’t believe in true love. (he he he – nailed it!)

In which case it’s a bit of a pickle. I want to say it’s easier to be loved because there’s no effort, you just bask in the warm rays of someone’s love, and when it ends(assuming you don’t love them back), you don’t care like they do.

But then again if you have a conscience, being loved by someone you have no feelings for can put you in a pretty horrible position. You either pretend to be into it for fear of hurting them, which is a bad old idea for many reasons; or be honest with them which feels brutal. I’ve been in that position and it’s a no-win situation. You end up being the bastard whether you like it or not. And it seems the nicer you try to be, somehow the worse you make it.

So I think it’s pretty much a 50/50 proposition unless we’re talking about exceptional circumstances or caveats.

No-one’s reading this shit any more are they?

Good, just me and you then. Now I can reveal my TRUE FORM – BWA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!



3. Do you believe that we only have one life or do you believe in reincarnation?

There’s what I believe(guess) and there’s the truth. No-one this side of death can give you an answer to these questions, no matter how convincingly they tell you they can. That is my belief.

For what it’s worth, at this moment in time, I don’t believe in reincarnation. But ask me again tomorrow and it might have tipped the other way again.

A few years back I was juggling these kinds of questions back and forth and ended up listening to a lot of talks by Ram Dass and Jack Kornfield. They have a Hindu/Buddhist leaning. One of them(or both of them?) recounted a micro-story about some dude who asked Buddha how long we have to reincarnate for. Buddha answered that if a dove flew over the Himalayas every day and dropped a single silk scarf onto the mountains below, then the time it would take for the Himalayas to wear flat is the time we reincarnate for.

If I was that dude, I’d have kicked Buddha in the nuts. Cos that’s just rude.


4. What do you think is the meaning of life?

Hmmmmmmmmm. Of course I cannot tell you what the meaning of life is. Again, I don’t think anyone this side of death can, and maybe not those the other side of it either.

(are there any questions here like what’s your favourite movie? jus sayin man)

While I find some appeal in ideas of karma, reincarnation, or how this could all be a big virtual reality test; I have no rational basis to think that is really what all this is about. For all I know all these things could be fairy tales borne from people’s collective fear of death and loss.

However, I did once have a waking(not a typo!) dream where a guy with a bad haircut, big lips and a dress, showed me the earth as a living swirling yin/yang ball. He told me we are all participating in a perpetual dance between light and dark, good and bad; and that the aim of life is to be good/light and not bad/dark; moreover he said we must try and save those who’ve fallen into darkness and bring them back into the light.

But I was tripping my balls off on a psychedelic drug at the time so I could very well have been seeing what I wanted to see. 100% possible.

So the jury’s still out for me. I think we could equally be as trivial in the grand scheme of things as that moss that grows in the crack in your patio. It certainly feels like it’s important therefore its existence must have meaning. It really believes it’s the main event. However it’s sadly mistaken, but it will never be apt to understand the concept of the garden, the house or the world beyond it.

It’s near impossible for a human being to accept that they might be the moss – we always choose narratives where we are the main event. Therein lies the problem I think.

By the way, if anyone’s still reading, I’d like to nominate you for the Iron Eyelids Endurance Award. (it’s not a real thing – I’ll buy you a donut some time OK)


5. Are you the same person you were five years ago?

I doubt that’s even possible, even if you’re in a coma. The human mind is an untameable Etch-a-sketch in constant flux. Our narrative joining all the dots together over time is extremely misleading I think. I believe I can remember me at 18, but the chances are that man is so different to my distorted idea of him, that he would be a complete stranger to me now. He’d definitely think I was a weird old arsehole, I know that much. I’d knee him in the nuts for his impudence then run away with his wallet, and spend it all on beer and sweets. He he he he SUCKA!


I feel like this is going well. How bout you?

WELL, there is no need to be rude Sir!


6. How do you know that you are not dreaming now?

There is no way of knowing. (you should’ve seen the first answer I erased!)


7. What is the best dream you had that you want to come true?

When I was about 3 years old I distinctly remember dreaming of a big red old-fashioned fire engine hurtling down a city street with lots of beautiful women holding onto the outside. All the women were naked except for the shiny fireman’s helmets on their heads.

I’m sorry – were you hoping for something about world peace here?

Of course I’m just messing, that would be a waste of a dream opportunity and quite unfulfilling in reality.

The only trouble is I’m struggling to remember a dream worthy of this question. I’ve had a few dreams I absolutely do not want to come true.

I know I have had dreams where certain bad things in my life were no longer true and that felt really nice at the time, but then I woke up and was super depressed when I slowly realised it was just a dream after all. So maybe the best of those. OR some of those dreams I’ve had where I can fly cos those are a lot of fun.

When I was on holiday in Kefalonia once, I had a dream that I was some kind of James Bond type and I infiltrated and took down this Jamaican terrorist organisation of bicycle couriers(I don’t make the rules!). The finale was me cornering them with a bizarre fake truck ruse. I did this whole victory speech to the gangsta woman who ran the show and it ended with “… AND YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE IT!”. I woke myself up shouting it out in the hotel room as my then-girlfriend lay beside me in hysterics. She’d been watching me play out this stupid dream the whole time. This happened more than once. I think she looked on me like Dr. Frankenstein looked on the monster.

So yeah, not that one. The fire truck or one of those nice ones or flying ones.


8. If you could time travel, where would you go? To the future or to the past?

The past obviously! I’d go back 5 minutes and do a better answer for the dream question. Nothing I can do about it now though (big siiiiiiigh)


9. If you could be any super hero or any famous person dead or alive for a day, who would you choose?

Quicksilver from X Men. I’d go visit all my enemies and ruin their days with cruel acts of slow mischief, then I’d do some nice things for those I liked. Theft and multiple other crimes may have to be involved but I’m guessing I’d have diplomatic immunity because it’s my extra special magic day!?

Yeeeeeeeaaaahhhhh (jazz hands)!

Plus he’s a Pink Floyd fan with cool hair so, yknow, win win win.


10. If you could choose to change something about this world, what would it be?

I would eliminate dishonesty.

If I could change 2 things, competition would be next.

I know that’s a dick answer but I’m a dick so what the hell did you expect!?!?!


16 thoughts on “Sunshine Blogger Award

        1. Why thank you ma’am.
          I located something that’s free of all those things. Pick up your complementary lentil on the way out. That’s the last ever time I’ll go by that name I’ll bet!


            1. Oh blimey Tiffany. That’s a lovely thing to say. Thank you. I am currently trying to finish this book under heavy fire. Then I am hoping to have a crack at some novels(if I can stop myself writing sodding poems!).
              I would love to be a script writer but I’m not sure how one goes about it! That said, a book I have in mind could probably translate well to that kind of thing. Evie could star in that one.

              Liked by 1 person

                1. Well that book might be a ways off unfortunately. I’m buried under piles of To Do at the moment. Bah long story.
                  Well thank you very much for the encouragement. I think you are too kind BUT I’LL TAKE IT! and I’ll bank it and I’ll encase the bank in concrete.
                  I haven’t heard of that Portergirl but I will check her out. You strike me as a very eclectic person with a lot of strings to your bow Tiffany. You’d probably find me dull as dishwater! But Im glad the blog has given you a good larf 😉


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