The Lobster Award

It seems the more I try to alienate people with my ill-advised rantings the more Oscars I win. Well I say Oscars, they’re more like blog awards really. But they probably carry at least the same weight. Incidentally those other 2 awards I won(Handsomest Blogger and Master of the Blogiverse IIRC) haven’t been delivered yet. Maybe a postal mix up. Gold is heavy so it probably takes longer to carry. Never thought of that. But I made a space on the mantle piece and everything so I hope they come soon.

Of course, I’m being flippant, and other dolphinesque bad things.

Now that the obligatory NONSENSE part of the blog post is out of the way(it’s NEVER out of the way people – he he he!)

I’d like to thank the venerable Larin for nominating me for The Liebster Award.

An executive decision has been made at Doubtpuppet Towers(YES IT EXISTS(DON’T CHECK THOUGH OR YOU SMELL)) to accept these awards but not to nominate other people. I’m a misanthrope, so what do you expect! Also I don’t feel like I really know anyone well enough to do that. I’m very weird about such things. Takes all sorts, people. So take off those judgement gloves, put them back in your party purse and have a glass of sherry.

So in that vein, I’d like to thank Larin very much for nominating my blog for the Liebster Award and here’s my answers to the questions… (brace yourseleves people, there be dragons!)

  1. What is the name of your favourite perfume or cologne?
    EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZY. No that’s not the name of the cologne! It’s Azzaro pour Homme(means “Azzaro for a hero” in French apparently) and it’s by Azzaro, Paris. I bought my first bottle of it from Boots in Birmingham in 1988 when I got my first ever pay-check. I liked the aftershave so much, I’ve stuck with it since, though other contenders come along and try to woo me on occasion. Nice try Polo Sport. Nice try Eau D’Issy. Nice try Tommy. There’s only one aftershave for me though you desperate wannabes! (they can’t hear me I dont think). Interesting factoid folks: a rare and expensive substance called Ambergris has historically been used in making perfume and aftershave. Some still use it they say. I trust you’ll pull a face like this when you read what it is:bitter-taste-guy-121008
  2. Which sport do you do?
    HA which sport DON’T I do more like!? Actually that response is entirely unmerited. I’ve never done anything at a serious or competitive level(apart from casual/work/school leagues). But sports I’ve done at an amateur level(and by amateur I mean ridiculous) are volleyball, rowing, running, football, cricket and rugby.
  3. Name three of your favourite books:
    Bears in the Night, Oh the Places You’ll Go, Mr. Tickle(part of the venerated Mr. Men series). Give me a break – I can barely read ūüė¶
  4. Are you spiritual or religious?
    Currently, and after muuuuuuuuuuuuuch vacillation, I’m on the fence, but sadly leaning towards the “it’s all made up fairy tales and we just die and that’s it” persuasion. But when I say I’m on the fence I mean that. Always good to try and accept the possibility that you might be wrong, especially about the big questions. But never about petty arguments. Cos I’m never wrong about those. Not never and I’ll scratch your eyes out if you disagree.
  5. Do you believe in life after death?
    See previous answer! At the moment leaning towards no.
  6. Coffee or tea, CocaCola or Pepsi?
    Tea and neither.
  7. Favourite actor/actress?
    I don’t tend to think in terms of favourites for actors, and I have a feeling my answer would change day on day with this one. But I’ll say Gene Hackman and Vanessa Redgrave¬†for the purposes of this question. NO WAIT – CAN I CHANGE IT!?!? I’m being preposterous, ignore me!
  8. What did you hope to grow up to be when you were five?
    An astronaut. I didn’t realise that you had to make plans and pass exams and stuff to become something though. So I really screwed it up badly.
  9. Angels or Aliens?
    Does this mean which exist, which would win in a fight, which I’d like to sleep with?
    Assuming it means all those things then … Aliens, Angels, Angels
  10. Athletic or Sedentary?
    In my dreams: athletic. In reality sedentary. (just like the rest of you, so easy with the judgement gloves tigers!)
  11. Rainy or dry weather, summer or winter?
    Rainy and winter

There you go – that wasn’t so bad was it! Now if you’ll excuse me I have a migraine and blood pouring from my fingertips. So I’m off¬†for a little lie down…

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4 thoughts on “The Lobster Award

    1. Hmmm curiouser and curiouser. This is usually the part where they disappear and I never hear from them again. … … …
      WHO SENT YOU?
      WHO DO YOU WORK FOR!?!?!?
      Just kidding – thank you very much – you made me smile again!

      Liked by 1 person

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