Holiday Time!

In keeping with my opulent lifestyle, I like to take regular holidays, averaging one night away every 13 years. And it’s holiday time again already!

As I was packing my sun hat, bucket, spade and sniper rifle just now, it occurred to me, the blog will be left unattended until my return.

Be strong.

Heck, I know we’ve had our ups and downs.

I know you haven’t always appreciated the genius that has wafted from these hallowed pages.

But I’d like to think that, through the onslaught of these strange and disturbing words, hand-in-hand, we have forged the kind of bond the likes of which only men who have endured hard time together inside Vietnamese prisoner of war camps can know.

In keeping with this bond, I’m going to set you all some home work which I want completed by pain of death before I get back from my holiday.

I want you to steal something from a policeman or a priest – I’ll leave the choice to you. It can be hand cuffs, communion wine, CS gas, a crucifix, a radio, a hat, a rosary, a firearm, a bible, a stab proof vest, eye brows. Not his soul though. We do have some standards here at Doubtpuppet Towers.

Don’t just pick up any old rubbish from the pound store – I’LL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

Failure to complete the homework will results in a permanent ban from the blog I’m afraid.

I don’t make the rules.

But who knows what riches await those who demonstrate their loyalty and conviction. It’s your chance to shine!

Fear not dear children, for this time apart will pass quickly, and will soon be no more than an unpleasant memory.

Now if you don’t mind, there are sandcastles to be made, scantily clad women to go “FWOOOOORRRR!” at and ice creams to be eaten.

Into the breach once more … for England, St. George, and for DEBBBBBBIIIEEEEE HAAARRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!



5 thoughts on “Holiday Time!

  1. Both the priest and the policeman ran in the opposite direction as I approached. I guess seeing a mermaid was too much for them. However, I did manage to track down a t-rex egg which I have popped into the post. You should receive it in time for breakfast 🙂


    1. Arghhh – how did I miss this comment? Sorry Mermaid! Genuinely confused how I missed it.
      Well done on improvising the T-Rex egg. 11/10 for ingenuity in the face of rudeness. You win the star prize for that task. Especially since no-one else handed their homework in. Typical. My flock is ill disciplined and flatulent

      Liked by 1 person

    1. no, I’m bringing it along. I pay 3 large ladies to wear dinosaur costumes and sit on it in 8hr rotating shifts. When it hatches, I will raise it as my own and ride it into battle to rain prehistoric beatings down on my enemies. And I’ll play fetch with it the rest of the time. The kennel is a slight problem. Planning permission. Neighbour issues. There’s only one thing for it. I need to find a way of enlarging the neighbours.

      Liked by 1 person

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