Begging the Question – Spike!

You’ll never guess what – that crazy cat Sherwyn is plugging his forthcoming poetry book again. This guy’s out of CONTROL!!!

Sherwyn Jellico - Author

Here’s another poem from my forthcoming book, Begging the Question, which has over 140 poems about OCD and depression, as well as additional sections discussing these disorders and my experience with them.

This poem is about an OCD spike, which is another word for a trigger. This is when someone with OCD encounters something in their every day life which gives rise to feelings of unacceptable doubt regarding one of their obsessions. They’re instantly catapulted into a state of intolerable anxiety. They just want the world to stop until they can successfully perform the necessary compulsion to neutralise the spike. But the world doesn’t stop, so this can be a tricky business.

An example of a spike would be someone with a morbid fear of battery acid seeing an unusual stain on the patch of road they’re about to drive through, and worrying their car’s contaminated. Or someone…

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4 thoughts on “Begging the Question – Spike!

  1. I like his name. Very much. It sounds like he starred in CATS.

    Is it OCD if i can’t leave the room until I have finished making copies. BUT the stupid copies are getting all screwed up and I have to keep stapling and unstapling the batches so that I can print out the missing page and then I reinsert the wrong page and I have to keep popping clonazepam because I have become out-of-control anxious. Or is that just a typical day in the life of an overwrought American? I feel so much better talking it out. I think I will go shopping now. ta!

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    1. OK let the record show that I’m resisting the overwhelming urge to make jokes about this on the off-chance you’re serious!
      It’s a tragic missed opportunity though, that’s all I’m gonna say.
      So, with my serious hat on(but nothing else – pfftfftffft!), I would say that it might qualify as OCD if it keeps recurring frequently, and the anxiety it results in is crippling to the point that it takes you out of the game and demands your full attention until you can address the situation by performing the necessary ritual. Like you feel locked up inside your head until you rectify the situation and it would sully you on a spiritual level to just let it go.
      That said, I am not qualified in medicine or psycho-therapy, so it doesn’t matter too much what I think and only a qualified psycho-therapist can make a call on that.
      I know, after all this,m you’ll say it was just a joke and I’ll feel silly. It’s a no win situation for an innocent Doubtpuppet minding his own beeswax!
      I’ll say this though: I hope you haven’t got OCD Susan. There be dragons.

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  2. “Like you feel locked up inside your head until you rectify the situation and it would sully you on a spiritual level to just let it go.” Thank you. I think that tells me a lot. I have my dragons, they are just of a different species.

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    1. Yeah, there’s lots of different dragons out there I think. The human brain is a complicated and curious thing. To illustrate the grip of this thing(bearing in mind I’m much better now than I was 6 years ago) I couldn’t engage my dentist properly today when I walked into his room, because I was still wrestling to get the upper hand with a trigger that had kicked off in the waiting room. I normally have a chat and a joke but that went out the window today and I could tell he wondered what was going on. Even as the guy was injecting me and drilling my tooth out, I was still off somewhere else performing and re-performing battlefield surgery of my own to try and get a tourniquet around a bad idea. I knew that I needed to be present for the other thing more than anything else, yet I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it until I’d dealt with the trigger. You’re left feeling incredibly vulnerable in moments like that. I think it is something you would have to feel first hand to understand cos I find it really hard to explain. I often think, if I didn’t have it, and I heard someone talking about it this way, I’d think “yeah right – what a crock of shit you big phony”.

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