Oh it’s you – how lovely to see you again!
How’ve things been since we last spoke?
Oh really? Oh lord – I’m so sorry to hear that. You poor thing.
Still, it could always be worse couldn’t it.
Anyway you’re here now.
So why not take a load off,
light up your pipe,
try some home made beer,
and tell me I’m fabulous.
Oh go on!
Tickle tickle tickle!
There’s a party bag at the end.
I may never fully forgive you for removing the like button. I want it, dammit.. I need it.. I must have it!
PS you’re fabulous !
PSS I am not going to fall for this charm, wit, talent, and intelligence… no matter how odiferously lovely you may or may not be nor how many times you casually toss “trollop” out either!
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Oh I’m sorry. I thought I’d put it back. Who knowws how this WordPress nonsense even works. Pixies on spinning wheels in woodland workshops most probably.
Correct – I AM fabulous!!! Oh you’re good. You win this week’s star prize. It’s a speed boat!?!? Oh my god! Im so excited for you1*&$%£$*%&^
Charm, wit, intelligence? Looks over shoulders. I’m scared now. No-one’s used those words before. I’m only used to fielding insults. I’ll get back to you ok!?
I promise I’ll reserve trollop for special occasions.
p.s. I’m afraid there’s been a terrrible mix up at Doubtpuppet Towers. I meant you’ve won a gravy boat. It’s quite a nice one though.
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Where’s my goddamn party bag?!
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Uh oh. I didn’t think anyone would make it this far. Right then – I’ll make something up presently and get it sent over by Lear jet. Obviously I just need your name, address, bank account details and the name of your first pet. It’s OK, this is all perfectly normal party bag protocol.
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May I suggest an alternative? You give me your address and any relevant alarm codes and I will send over some henchm…colleagues of mine to collect? This will save you money in Lear jet fuel.
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Hmmm I can only imagine what you stopped short of saying there. And I choose to imagine henchmeatballs. In which case, send them over as a matter of haste.
Here’s my address:
154, Hopper Avenue, (you know like a rabbit – hip hop – ha ha!)
Fairlawn,
New Jersey,
610452. (no wait 61045 – I was thinking of my telephone number)
Be careful today.
You have to be careful round a place like this.
Bye.
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Love the brutal straightforwardness and dry humor
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Why thank you master Luke.
I knew there was one! I’m going to burn my blog now while I’m ahead.
Blog flame mandala! Now, wait, wasn’t he president of South Africa once?
Sorry I’m a bit thin on the old reads these days. I’m trying to focus all my powers into a (still surprisingly weak) determination beam to try and accomplish something that really does not want to be accomplished.
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Haha I totally feel ya; I’ve written about 70 different drafts that I haven’t published, due to a being a bickering perfectionist. I’m also transferring to an Ivy League school—been accepted into 3 thus far, but I’m waiting to hear back from Brown, Columbia, and UPenn (my three favs), so we’ll see—which has also hindered my ability to post.
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Oh well done on making it through to those schools. The world’s your lobster now sunshine. I can offer some advice on that front. Stay away from fun people and alcohol, cut your penis off, and work like yer life depends on it. I tried the opposite approach(well not sewing on an extra penis, but you get my drift) and it was disasterous. But you seem much more sensible than me so I think you might be OK!
Hey I’ll see your 70 and raise you 266! In fairness they’re probably only 90% genius. The rest I’ve yet to finish.
I’m being deliberately obnoxious to conceal the fact they’re all childish gibberish, clearly.
Good luck at Uni Luke.
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Guess we all gotta deal with our own shit, right?
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Yes, I have definitely found that to be the case.
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Mm, homemade beer…
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Homer? Is that you?
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You are hindering my ability to leave my desk!! I can’t accomplish anything until I have read every word that you have ever written on this blog.You are just so darned entertaining, you’re comedy crack.
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Yes I will marry you Susan!
Thanks you for making me smile today!
I’m glad my foolish nonsense gave you a laugh 😀
p.s. there’s just the small matter of a dowry
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… and my husband!! LMAO!!!
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Noooooooo – he can’t come!
It would spoil it.
(unless he’s got the dowry)
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ROTFLOL! Stop! Please!!
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I don’t know hooooooooooow! 😦
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I am laughing reading the conversation @Susan & @Puppet !!! 🙂 🙂 Puppet u r great ❤
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Hah ha – glad it gave you a larf Cynthia. When me and susan met, it was moider! You can find me playing her up on various other posts down there in the catacombs!
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I am sorry if this was a legitimate comment. I tried but I honestly couldn’t understand what you are saying here. So I am not going to approve it. As I say, sorry if it is intended as a legitimate comment. I had to make a judgement call.
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