Home

Oh it’s you –  how lovely to see you again!

How’ve things been since we last spoke?

Oh really? Oh lord  – I’m so sorry to hear that. You poor thing.


Still, it could always be worse couldn’t it.

 

Anyway you’re here now.

So why not take a load off,

light up your pipe,

try some home made beer,

read my world-famous blog,

and tell me I’m fabulous.

 

Oh go on!

 

Tickle tickle tickle!

 

There’s a party bag at the end.

20 thoughts on “Home

  1. I may never fully forgive you for removing the like button. I want it, dammit.. I need it.. I must have it!
    PS you’re fabulous !
    PSS I am not going to fall for this charm, wit, talent, and intelligence… no matter how odiferously lovely you may or may not be nor how many times you casually toss “trollop” out either!

    Like

    1. Oh I’m sorry. I thought I’d put it back. Who knowws how this WordPress nonsense even works. Pixies on spinning wheels in woodland workshops most probably.
      Correct – I AM fabulous!!! Oh you’re good. You win this week’s star prize. It’s a speed boat!?!? Oh my god! Im so excited for you1*&$%£$*%&^

      Charm, wit, intelligence? Looks over shoulders. I’m scared now. No-one’s used those words before. I’m only used to fielding insults. I’ll get back to you ok!?
      I promise I’ll reserve trollop for special occasions.

      p.s. I’m afraid there’s been a terrrible mix up at Doubtpuppet Towers. I meant you’ve won a gravy boat. It’s quite a nice one though.

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Uh oh. I didn’t think anyone would make it this far. Right then – I’ll make something up presently and get it sent over by Lear jet. Obviously I just need your name, address, bank account details and the name of your first pet. It’s OK, this is all perfectly normal party bag protocol.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Hmmm I can only imagine what you stopped short of saying there. And I choose to imagine henchmeatballs. In which case, send them over as a matter of haste.

          Here’s my address:

          154, Hopper Avenue, (you know like a rabbit – hip hop – ha ha!)
          Fairlawn,
          New Jersey,
          610452. (no wait 61045 – I was thinking of my telephone number)

          Be careful today.
          You have to be careful round a place like this.
          Bye.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Why thank you master Luke.
      I knew there was one! I’m going to burn my blog now while I’m ahead.
      Blog flame mandala! Now, wait, wasn’t he president of South Africa once?
      Sorry I’m a bit thin on the old reads these days. I’m trying to focus all my powers into a (still surprisingly weak) determination beam to try and accomplish something that really does not want to be accomplished.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha I totally feel ya; I’ve written about 70 different drafts that I haven’t published, due to a being a bickering perfectionist. I’m also transferring to an Ivy League school—been accepted into 3 thus far, but I’m waiting to hear back from Brown, Columbia, and UPenn (my three favs), so we’ll see—which has also hindered my ability to post.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh well done on making it through to those schools. The world’s your lobster now sunshine. I can offer some advice on that front. Stay away from fun people and alcohol, cut your penis off, and work like yer life depends on it. I tried the opposite approach(well not sewing on an extra penis, but you get my drift) and it was disasterous. But you seem much more sensible than me so I think you might be OK!

          Hey I’ll see your 70 and raise you 266! In fairness they’re probably only 90% genius. The rest I’ve yet to finish.
          I’m being deliberately obnoxious to conceal the fact they’re all childish gibberish, clearly.

          Good luck at Uni Luke.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. You are hindering my ability to leave my desk!! I can’t accomplish anything until I have read every word that you have ever written on this blog.You are just so darned entertaining, you’re comedy crack.

    Like

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