Oh it’s you – how lovely to see you again!
How’ve things been since we last spoke?
Oh really? Oh lord – I’m so sorry to hear that. You poor thing.
Still, it could always be worse couldn’t it.
Anyway you’re here now.
So why not take a load off,
light up your pipe,
try some home made beer,
and tell me I’m fabulous.
Oh go on!
Tickle tickle tickle!
There’s a party bag at the end.